Act 1, Scene 4: Chicken in the Basket

DIALOG

A bunch of adolescent kids are playing chicken ball on Win'olah Hill. The objective is like basketball: You've got to throw a ball (or maybe a literal chicken) through a hoop to score points. They're playing for fun in the park, the referee is just another friend. The only audience are the squirrels and the pidgeons.

Sounds of players on the playing field

Bin'ilda: "Alright, 10 seconds left on the clock - red team gets the final throw-in! 3 ... 2 ... 1 ..."

Whistle

Zol'tango throws the chicken to Mel'ema

Zol'tango: "Here, mel!"

Grunting and footsteps as the players fight for the ball

Attention, voice actors: Mind your breathing! You're running around a playfield!

Mel'ema: "Got it!"

Zol'tango: "To the front, to the front! Gogogo!"

Mel'ema runs full speed around the opponents defense towards the hoop

Fin'fani and Zol'tango and the other players run with him

Running, Heavy Breathing!

Fin'fani: "I'm over here, pass me the chicken!"

Alf'eldanon tries to block

Alf'eldanon: "You wish!"

Mel'ema: "Fin, here!"

Mel'ema passes the Chicken to Fin'fani

Alf'eldanon: "DAMMIT!"

Zol'tango: "Shoot, Fin! Shoooooot!"

Fin'fani delivers the near perfect free chicken throw

Fin'fani: "Ha-YAAAAA!"

Sound of the chicken hitting the rim of the loop

Mel'ema: "Nooooooooooooooo!"

Fin'fani: "Nooooooooooo!"

Zol'tango: "What the fuck! How's that even possible!"

Whistle

Bin'ilda: "Aaaaand the game is over! Blue team wins!"

Mel'ema: "That can't be! The chicken was IN the basket, and then jumped right back out again!"

Fin'fani: "I saw that too!"

Zol'tango: "Those bastards were cheating! Alf, you son of a mage!"

Alf'eldanon: "I didn't do anything, I swear!"

Zol'tango: "Then why is it blue always wins when YOU are on the team, huh?"

Alf'eldanon: "I dunno, maybe I'm just really good at chickenball?"

Fin'fani: "LIAR!"

Fin'fani pushes Alf'eldanon

Alf'eldanon: "Hey! I didn't use any magic, I'd never do that! That wouls be against the principle of the guild!"

Fin'fani (mocking): "Uuuuh, against the principles of the guild ... MY ASS. I'm so sick and tired of it, you little privileged shits get away with everything, it's always someone elses fault, because the oh so 'gifted' are all sweet innocent angels that never do anything wrong. No, it's ALWAYS someone elses fault! FUCK YOU!"

Fin'fani punches Alf'eldanon in the face

Alf'eldanon: "AAAAAH!"

Fin'fani, Zol'tango and Mel'ema dogpile on Alf, punching and kicking him ...

Mel'ema: "Take ... this ... magic boy ..."

Zol'tango: "So ... who's winning now, motherfucker ... who's winning now!"

Fighting noises. Grunting, punches, calls of pain

Alf'eldanon: "Aaaa!! Argh! Aaah! Ahaaa! Aahhhrhh!"

Bin'ilda blows his whistle to get their attention

Bin'ilda: "Hey ... HEY. Guys! Stop it! Stuff like this happens all the time, you just hit the hoop at a weird angle, that's all! It's not his fault!"

Whistle whistle whistle

Bin'ilda: "I said, stop it!"

Sound of something igniting

Mel'ema: "What ..."

Fin'fani: "AAAAARGH! What the fuuuuck ... aahh...aaaaaaaahh ... my tail! My taaaaail! Aaaaaaaaaargh!"

Fin'fani runs away screaming, and eventually jumps into the pond.

Hisssssss ...

Alf'eldanon: *cough*

Alf'eldanon stands up shaking the dirt out of his fur

Alf'eldanon: "What ... WHAT? Why are you all staring at me?"

Bin'ilda: "Did ... did you just set Fin's tail on fire?"

Alf'eldanon: "Yeah? While he was kicking me in the groin? What'cha gonna do, call Inok'Bana? You can suck my dick, Bin. You can ALL suck my dick! Fuck you!"

Alf'eldanon stomps away

Bin'ilda: "Jeeeeez."

Mel'ema: "So much for those principles."

Bin'ilda: "Shut the fuck up, Mel. Just shut the fuck up. And you can get yourself a new referee. I'm outta here!"

Bin'ilda turns away, and runs after Alf'eldanon

Bin'ilda: "Alf! Wait! Can we talk? Please!"